Bart’s class goes to the police station on a field trip and while he is there, he just can’t resist pulling a prank; meanwhile, Lisa’s class is not challenging for her at all. Chief Wiggum meets with the Homer and Marge and recommends military school for Bart. Homer and Marge tell Bart they are going to Disneyland, but trick him and take him to military school. Bart does not want to be there from the get-go, but Lisa sees the discipline the cadets receive and decides to stay there with Bart. She is the first female ever to join the academy, so she gets a hard time from the other cadets. Bart starts to fit in after a while, and tries to keep the fact that he cares about her a secret. A final challenge awaits Bart and Lisa; they must pass a physical test called “The Eliminator”. Bart helps Lisa to train in secret and when they both pass, they go home.
Stargate Atlantis 4×20: The Last Man (1)
Sheppard returns from a mission and finds Atlantis abandoned and surrounded by sand dunes. He soon finds a hologram of Dr. McKay, who tells him he has come 48,000 years into the future, and everyone is long dead. But the McKay hologram has a plan to save the city and restore Sheppard to his own time.
Smallville 4×22: Commencement
After a nightmare, Clark goes to the cave to confront his father Jor-El. Jor-El warns that the crystals have fallen into human hands and have triggered a new meteor shower which will annihilate the Earth unless he reunites the three crystals. Meanwhile, Lex helps Lana, who has apparently committed murder, but then turns against her to get possession of her Kryptonian stone. As disaster looms, Chloe and Lois try to find Lana while Clark attempts to reassemble the stones, and Jason returns to make things unpleasant for the Kents.
Smallville 2×23: Exodus (2)
A sense of foreboding surrounds Smallville as Clark must choose between staying with Lana and his family or fulfilling his destiny to rule the Earth. Lex and Helen prepare for their marriage, and Chloe considers Lionel’s offer to investigate Clark.
Friends 2×24: The One With Barry & Mindy’s Wedding
Rachel agrees to be maid of honor at her ex-fiancé’s wedding, but a fashion faux pas focuses attention away from the bride. To get a role in Warren Beatty’s new movie, Joey needs to practice kissing … guys. Monica ponders her future with Richard and Chandler falls for a mystery woman on the Internet.
Monk 6×16: Mr. Monk Is on the Run (2)
Stottlemeyer must keep up the pretense that Monk is dead, while Adrian tries to determine who framed him for murder.
CSI 6×24: Way To Go (2)
In the season finale, the CSIs wait by the bedside of one of their own when he’s shot in the line of duty. One CSI faces a hard choice by having the power of attorney over their injured friend and colleague. Meanwhile, the team also investigates the strange way of life of one man when he is found decapitated by a train.
X Files 7×22: Requiem
Mulder and Scully return to the town of their first X-Files investigation where a UFO has crashed in the forest. CSM arranges for Krycek to be released from prison in order for him to make contact with the aliens and begin rebuilding the ‘Project’, while Scully’s health appears to be taking a turn.
Joey 2×22: Joey and the Wedding
Jimmy and Gina get married.
Medium 3×22: Everything Comes To A Head (3)
In the third season finale, Allison’s life, along with the lives of her family, is uprooted as her psychic abilities are revealed to the public. Allison must now find a way to catch the “recapitator” serial killer on her own, as she can no longer turn to Devalos or Scanlon for help.
Lynette adapts to Tom's decision to go back to school, Orson takes a beating that Bree cannot comprehend, Gabrielle's niece (guest star Maiara Walsh) moves to Wisteria Lane, and Susan and MJ's lives are in grave danger at the hands of Dave.
Lynette adapts to Tom's decision to go back to school, Orson takes a beating that Bree cannot comprehend, Gabrielle's niece (guest star Maiara Walsh) moves to Wisteria Lane, and Susan and MJ's lives are in grave danger at the hands of Dave.
Gabrielle runs into an old acquaintance who's lost everything, Lynette is upset with Tom for his latest "bright idea," Orson threatens to blackmail Bree, and Susan accepts Dave's "friendly" gesture.
Bree goes to extremes to hide her true intentions from Orson, while Susan and Jackson (guest star Gale Harold) put on an act for the authorities. Lynette is shocked at the lengths Tom will go to in order to look younger, and Katherine masks the truth from Mike, afraid to lose him. Meanwhile, Dave is on edge when he learns a key witness to his misdeeds surfaces.
Bree sinks to a new low to retain the best lawyer, and Gabrielle's vanity is put to the test when she makes a deal with her daughter Juanita. Meanwhile, Lynette and Tom negotiate sex, and Katherine deceives Mike to win his heart. Jackson (guest star Gale Harold) walks back into Susan's life with a proposal, and an unexpected visit sends Dave to do some bargaining of his own.
Amidst a series of intense treatments, Izzie throws herself into Derek and Meredith's wedding plans, but the stress of her illness takes its toll on Alex - who freezes during surgery just as George begins to excel. Meanwhile: Callie's father arrives at Seattle Grace, but is less than pleased to meet his daughter's girlfriend; Owen seeks help to quell his PTSD outburtsts.
As the women look back on Edie's life, Susan recalls their first meeting, Lynette reflects on a memorable night out, Bree is reminded of the thoughtfulness she bestowed upon Orson, and Gaby remembers fondly a night of friendly competition.
Bree considers selling her business to save her marriage. Lynette is threatened by her new boss, and boundaries are crossed for Gabrielle and Carlos. Meanwhile, Katherine is caught in the most unexpected of circumstances and Edie's worst fears come true.
When Susan tries to impress Jessie (guest star Swoosie Kurtz), a teacher at work, Jessie comes away with the wrong impression. With the wrong intent, Gaby convinces Carlos to hire Lynette, and Carlos finds himself working with an old acquaintance (guest star Leslie Boone as Lucy). As Orson's shameful habit grows, Bree will protect herself from embarrassment at all costs, and a suspicious Edie slyly digs further into Dave's past.
In a gesture of friendship, Bree tells Lynette she'll help Tom secure a new job, but the best intentions will reach a tempestuous end and reveal Orson's shameful misdeeds. Gaby finds herself in a precarious position when Carlos' adulterous boss begins using her to cover for himself as he continues to cheat on his wife. Meanwhile, Edie digs into Dave's past after a chance encounter with an old acquaintance.
Susan starts a new job in order to give son MJ the best, but when Mike leaves their son in Katherine's care, anger and jealousy pervade. As Scavo's Pizzeria continues to take a hit in the current economy, Lynette tells Tom they have to sell. Carlos receives a generous bonus when Gaby discovers his boss' dirty little secret. Orson confronts Bree when he learns she's given Andrew a raise. Meanwhile, Dave grows weary the neighbors are beginning to suspect he's up to no good.
Bree reaps the success of her new Bree reaps the success of her new book by treating herself to a new car, while Lynette and Tom resolve to sell his Mustang for some extra cash. Susan is determined to send MJ to the best school, even though she and Mike can't afford it. Meanwhile, Gaby joins Edie's no nonsense boot camp to get herself back into shape, and Lee is conflicted over whether to tell Lynette and Tom some disturbing facts about Dave.
When neighborhood handyman, Eli Scruggs (guest star Beau Bridges), passes away, the residents of Wisteria Lane come to realize just how much he affected their lives. Gaby recalls how Eli helped her make new friends when she moved in. Lynette remembers how he came to her aide when she was overwhelmed and neglected Penny. Susan reflects on how he was always there for her as a shoulder to cry on each time a man walked out of her life. Edie looks back on their special friendship. And Bree thinks fondly of how a small gesture he once made helped get her to where she is today.
Connections lead to surprising resolutions. Susan and Edie are forced to spend time alone together when they accidentally lock themselves in a basement. Bree's devious plotting against Andrew's future mother-in-law in an attempt to keep him close to her comes at a cost. Gabrielle loses control of her children and turns to Carlos for help. The ongoing search for Porter leads Lynette to her mother. Katherine and Mike will define their relationship. Meanwhile, Dave gets a step closer to exacting revenge.
Bree clashes with Alex's mother (guest star Joanna Cassidy) for their sons' affections. Gabrielle urges Carlos to take a six-figure job, even though it means spending more time away from home. Susan turns to Lee for company while Jackson is away. Lynette catches Preston talking to Porter on the phone. Meanwhile, Edie grows weary of Dave, whose strange behavior hasn't abated.
Lynette takes extreme measures to protect her son. Carlos realizes the extent of Gaby's sacrifices for their family. Bree wants to prove to Andrew that she has accepted him for who he is. Katherine finds happiness, as Susan and Mike recognize the fate of their relationship. Meanwhile, Dave starts to lose his grip.
For Gaby and Carlos, injuries sustained in the fire lead to a fortunate discovery. But for most, the consequences are less forgiving. Lynette and Tom vow to protect son Porter at any cost. Susan must learn to let go of the man she loves. Orson's attempt at a good night's sleep puts Bree in a most precarious, though amusing, position on the day of her big cooking demonstration.
There's a big fire at a club where the men's band is playing in a battle of the bands. One of the other bands competing is real-life band Tokyo Police Club. Most residents of Wisteria Lane will be present.
Lynette and Tom uncover the unsettling truth about son Porter. Gabrielle suspects Carlos' best client, Virginia (guest star Frances Conroy), has ulterior motives. Bree's moment of weakness could bring her great embarrassment and shame. Katherine's not-so-little secret is unveiled. Susan learns of Jackson's true passion. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey's sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) unearths a disturbing fact about Dave.
Gaby is over the moon when Carlos' client makes them an offer they can't refuse, but a startling discovery leaves her second guessing. Lynette grows suspicious that Tom is cheating on her. After breaking up with Jackson, Susan tries to surprise him, only to find the surprise is on her. Meanwhile, the bond between Bree and Katherine grows. Finally, Mrs. McCluskey enlists the help of her sister Roberta (guest star Lily Tomlin) to dig up dirt on Dave.
Driven by a hidden agenda, Dave convinces Susan to throw Mrs. McCluskey a surprise party for her 70th birthday. Jackson wants to take his relationship with Susan to the next level. Gabrielle's concerned she might be pregnant. Tom tells Lynette he's sold the pizzeria. A startling reason for the bond between Bree and Katherine is revealed. And finally, an outraged Mrs. McCluskey has the entire neighborhood questioning her sanity.
Bree's new found success causes the rest of the women on Wisteria Lane to feel envious. Lynette longs to return to her days as an ad-executive, and finds an outlet as Bree's marketing manager. Mike feels that he is not a big enough presence in his son's life after M.J. draws a family portrait and leaves him out. Meanwhile, Gaby comes up with a way to have more sex with Carlos.
Bree's estranged daughter, Danielle, returns to Wisteria Lane and is met with a deluge of criticism. Meanwhile, Gabrielle and Susan find themselves embroiled in a catfight brought on by an altercation between their kids. To her chagrin, Lynette comes home to find Tom and Dave have formed a garage band after she told him to get rid of his old things. Finally, Katherine and Mrs. McCluskey invite Edie to lunch to press her for more information on Dave.
Lynette discovers her son, Porter, has a softer side, which she finds endearing. Gaby amusingly attempts to mask her demise in social stature. The time has come for the men in Susan's life to meet. Meanwhile, Bree begins to feel the pressures of balancing marriage and a career. Edie is reminded just how hostile the neighbors on Wisteria Lane can be. Finally, a suspicious Mrs. McCluskey enlists Katherine's help to uncover more about their new neighbor, Dave.
On the highly anticipated season five premiere, five years have passed since Katherine shot her ex-husband as Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gabrielle stood together in solidarity to protect her. Susan tries to hide her relationship with a new man. Gaby questions her abilities as a mother. Bree is on the verge of publishing her own cookbook as business partner Katherine grows envious. Lynette catches her teenaged twins spearheading illegal activities. And finally, Edie returns to Wisteria Lane in jaw-dropping fashion with a new man in tow, her new husband Dave (played by Neal McDonough).
The Simpsons 8×25: The Secret War of Lisa Simpson
Stargate Atlantis 4×20: The Last Man (1)
Smallville 4×22: Commencement
Smallville 2×23: Exodus (2)
Friends 2×24: The One With Barry & Mindy’s Wedding
Monk 6×16: Mr. Monk Is on the Run (2)
CSI 6×24: Way To Go (2)
X Files 7×22: Requiem
Medium 3×22: Everything Comes To A Head (3)