SG-1 must defend Abydos from Anubis, who has come to take the Eye of Ra, an object of fabled power.
Ghost Whisperer 4×23: Book of Changes
Melinda hopes she can protect her baby after a ghost visits her.
The Sopranos 2×13: Funhouse
Tony is stricken by a nasty bout of food poisoning and has a strange dream conversation with Pussy in his delirium. When Tony wakes up, his suspicions are aroused. The FBI catches Livia at the airport with incriminating evidence against her son. The Feds decide to move against Tony just before Meadow’s graduation.
One Piece 325: The Most Disastrous Ability! Blackbeard’s Darkness Attacks Ace!
The Simpsons 20×16: Eeny Teeny Maya Moe
Moe develops an internet relationship with a woman named Maya; when the two agree to meet face to face Moe is shocked to discover that Maya is three feet tall.
Criminal Minds 3×20: Lo-Fi
The BAU faces one of its toughest cases when the team is called to New York City to determine if a series of random shootings is the work of one serial killer or a team of killers working together.
The L Word 6×8: Last Word
A review of the past six seasons of the cable series about a group of Los Angeles lesbians, their lovers and friends.
Futurama 3×15: I Dated a Robot
Fry downloads Lucy Liu’s image from nappster.com onto a blank robot and falls in love with the computerized image that is programmed to love him back. His friends, who are worried about Fry, try to shut down nappster.com, and discover that the company has actually kidnapped real celebrities. They grab Lucy Liu’s preserved head and try to escape, but nappster.com send an army of warrior Lucy Liu-bots after them.
X Files 6×22: Biogenesis (1)
Two scientists confer about each of their metal objects that were found in Africa and they theorise that the objects are pieces of a puzzle which could be undeniable proof that human, plant and animal life did not originate on this planet. When one of the scientists is killed and the objects are stolen, the agents investigate and Mulder begins to experience severe neurological pain caused by the objects.
Samantha Who 1×15: The Birthday
In the season finale, Samantha is beginning to think that Chloe is using the sympathy card by saying her aunt is sick, just so Todd won’t break up with her like he promised Samantha. Andrea and Regina are having several disagreements over how to plan Samantha’s birthday party.
Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son (she doesn’t know she failed) they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.
Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son (she doesn’t know she failed) they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.
Cartman comes into possession of a truckload of fetuses that he can’t sell thanks to a recent government ruling on stem cell research. When Kenny is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Stan has trouble dealing with it, but Cartman uses it to lobby Congress to restore stem cell research.
Rich people are moving to "South Park" in droves and the townspeople decide to take a stand. When Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman pick on Token for being the only rich kid in town, Token lures other affluent people like himself to South Park. The townspeople are fed up when all the rich people start moving in, and go to extremes to drive them out..
Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents an alternative form of transportation that requires the rider to use more than just their hands and legs to control it.
Cartman has finally gone to far when a prank involving Kenny's sweet cheeks results in him blowing a "funny fuse." After a photo of Kenny's better side finds it's way onto the side of a milk carton, an unusual couple arrives in South Park to claim their missing child. Much ass kissing ensues.
In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why they hate Americans. While they are there they also take on the Taliban and Cartman pits his fat ass against Bin Laden himself.
The boys get a new video game system and plan to play it for the entire weekend, but their plan is interrupted when they meet Towelie. Towelie is a genetically engineered towel created by the government. When the government finds out the boys know about Towelie, they steal the boy’s game system and oblivious to everything going on around them the boys stop at nothing to get it back.
The children are subjected to sex education classes after Stan demonstrates some of his “handy” work in front of his parents. The kids are being taught by the unlikely pair of Ms. Choksondik and Mr. Mackey, who because of their own sexual inadequacies leave the girls scared and the boys mis-informed leading to a battle of the sexes.
Cartman inherits one million dollars, which allows him to fulfill the dream of owning his own amusement park that he calls “Cartmanland.” Upon hearing the news of Cartman’s good fortune a hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle’s ass causing him to question the existence of a God who can make someone like Cartman happy.
In the grand tradition of Wham UK, flatulant Canadian superstars, Terrance and Phillip, have broken up over creative differences. The clock is ticking as the boys struggle to reunite the fartastic duo, and recruit them in time for South Park's Earth Day festivities.
Scott Tenorman tricks Cartman into buying his pubic hair for $10 and when Cartman can’t get his money back, he vows to get his revenge using a wiener biting pony, the band Radiohead and ultimately Scott Tenorman’s parents.
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince Kyle, Kenny and Cartman that they've been brainwashed... but will he get to them in time? Jesus has a few tricks up his sleeve! Super Best Friends to the rescue!
The boys go to their first night as Cub Scouts, where they discover that Big Gay Al is their troop leader. Al is thrown out of the Scouts when it is acknowledged that he is gay, so he files a lawsuit. The boys come to his defense, with the help of the new “handi-capable” kid, Jimmy; however, both Timmy and Jimmy believe that there is only room for one disabled Cub Scout and they start fighting with each other. Meanwhile, Big Gay Al’s replacement as Scout leader seems like he would be more suited to be a member of NAMBLA.
The you-know-what hits the fan a 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word "Sh*t" on the popular show, "Cop Drama." Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC plotting further use of the curse word, as the nation is struck by a mysterious plague that unleashes the ancient Knights of Standards and Practices. Only Chef and the boys can save South Park, and the world.
Stargate SG-1 6×22: Full Circle
The Sopranos 2×13: Funhouse
Criminal Minds 3×20: Lo-Fi
Futurama 3×15: I Dated a Robot
X Files 6×22: Biogenesis (1)
Samantha Who 1×15: The Birthday